dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
