Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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