before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
