My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
