nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
