i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I enjoy the company of your penis
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