I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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