She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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