hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize