I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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