his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
