well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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