So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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