he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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