ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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