is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
