I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize