So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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