So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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