I think scott just propositioned me for sex
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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