I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
