Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
