Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
