me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
