I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
