Whod you bang
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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