you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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