so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
