she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
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In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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