yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
