I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
