3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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