You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
