dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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