Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
