I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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