I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Terrible idea I love it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
