lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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