I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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