That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is Oprah even human
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
