I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize