I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
