He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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