I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize