Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
