dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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