i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
