I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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