I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
