mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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