shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
