can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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