you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
