i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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