had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
