# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i already hear my dad disowning me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
