I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
