I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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