i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
