New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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