This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
