I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
