Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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