South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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